FOUR WORD MOVIE REVIEW
(Copyright 2005, Mark Tyne)
| Movie Title | Movie Rating (1worst - 10best) | Four Word Movie Review | Additional Comments |
| Angels in America V1 | 9.0 | Age of AIDS Teatise | Best movie angels in 10 years |
| Closer | 9.0 | Excellent Dialogue. Infidelity Study | Mike Nichols is going to do infidelity films until he gets it right. |
| Dogville | 9.0 | Three Hours. Difficult Watch | Good play. |
| Farenheit 911 | 9.0 | Michael Moore's Difficult Truths | |
| Ladder 49 | 9.0 | No Greater Love | Best fireman movie yet |
| Love, Actually | 9.0 | Too Many Characters | The more characters, the less depth |
| Spellbound | 9.0 | Best Documentary In Years | |
| Troy | 9.0 | Good Epic w/Artistic License | Major differences with the original story, which was, after all, a classic |
| Yes Men | 9.0 | Pranks Of Biblical Proportions | |
| Angels In America V2 | 8.5 | Pretty Fascinating, Eight Orafices | |
| Around The World In 80 Days (2005) | 8.5 | Jackie Gives Good Bench | |
| Audition | 8.5 | Great Horror. Extremely Violent | |
| Badasssss | 8.5 | Great Indie Moviemaker Bio | |
| Barbarian Invasions | 8.5 | French Flick. Well Crafted. | |
| Best of Will Ferrell SNL V1 | 8.5 | The Man To Beat | |
| Best of Will Ferrell SNL V2 | 8.5 | Works Best w/ Extreme Emotions | |
| Brotherhood of the Wolf | 8.5 | Kung Fu Three Muskateers | |
| Bush's Brain | 8.5 | Be Afraid, Very Afraid | Gets + .5 for film's importance to American Democracy |
| Chris Rock - Never Scared | 8.5 | Best Comedian Alive Today? | Gets +.5 for two comedy routines |
| Ghost In The Shell 2 | 8.5 | Good Anime. Little Confusing | |
| In Living Color S2V1 | 8.5 | Calhoun Tubbs, Blues Singer | Calhoun for days |
| Luther | 8.5 | Rebel of Biblical Proportions | |
| Never Scared - Chris Rock | 8.5 | Best Standup Comedian Alive | Gets + .5 for containing two Chris Rock standup performances |
| Young Adam | 8.5 | Sex Drive Gone Wild | |
| Anchorman | 8.0 | Uses Ferrel's Comedy Strengths | |
| Around The Bend | 8.0 | Family Forgiveness Is Hard | Gets + .5 for Christopher Walken being awesome |
| Attack The Gas Station | 8.0 | South Korean Punk Fun | |
| Comedian | 8.0 | Inside Look At Standup | Seinfeld hits the road to develop new standup material |
| Cruel Intentions 3 | 8.0 | Early College Sex Games | Rape handled too lightly, even though rapist goes to jail |
| Curb Your Enthusiasm | 8.0 | Solid Comedy Sketches | |
| Grudge | 8.0 | Good Scares. Original's Better | |
| Hero | 8.0 | Strong Visuals, Weak Characters | Gets - .5 for weak characters |
| House of Sand and Fog | 8.0 | Good Tragedy. Too Long. | Gets - .5 for being 30 minutes too long |
| In Living Color | 8.0 | Solid Comedy Sketches Throughout | |
| I Robot | 8.0 | Great CG Saves Movie | |
| Jamie Foxx Show S2V1 | 8.0 | The Black Fawlty Towers | |
| Laughing Matters | 8.0 | Best Lesbian Standup Comedians | |
| Manchurian Candidate (2004) | 8.0 | Original's Better. Denzel Rules | |
| Mayor of Sunset Strip | 8.0 | Do What You Love | |
| Mo'Nique One Night Stand | 8.0 | Great Fat Skinny Jokes | |
| Open Water | 8.0 | Digital Video Looks Cheap | |
| Penn & Teller BS S1V1 | 8.0 | Great Debunkers Let Loose | |
| Penn & Teller BS S2V2 | 8.0 | Does Recycling Really Work? | Gets + .5 for debunking recycling effectiveness |
| Rio Bravo | 8.0 | Great Western. Too Long. | |
| Shaolin Soccer | 8.0 | Recontextualizes KungFu. Great fun. | Gets + .5 for great ending |
| Tupac Ressurection | 8.0 | Best Tupac Documentary Yet | |
| After The Sunset | 7.5 | Light Fluffy Caper Flick | |
| Along Came Polly | 7.5 | Jennifer Anniston Is Funny | Gets - .5 for excessive gross-out humor |
| Anything Else | 7.5 | Allen Attempts Aphrodite Capture | |
| Bad Santa | 7.5 | Adults Only Xmas Flick | Great bar pickup scene. |
| Barbershop 2 | 7.5 | Nice Seventies Flashbacks | |
| Best of Tracy Morgan SNL | 7.5 | Some Great Surreal Sketches | |
| Coffee & Cigarettes | 7.5 | Good Movie. Low Key. | |
| Curb Your Enthusiasm S2V2 | 7.5 | Consistently Excellent Comedy Sketches | |
| Dawn of the Dead (2004) | 7.5 | Great Beginning, Loses It | |
| Disfunktional Family | 7.5 | Rent "Get the Hookup" | |
| Harold & Kumar | 7.5 | First Asian Buddy-Dude Flick | Gets + .5 for being the first asian buddy dude flick. |
| In Living Color S1V1 | 7.5 | Excellent Parodies, Great Spoofs | |
| In Living Color S2V2 | 7.5 | First Hiphop Comedy Show | |
| In Living Color S2V3 | 7.5 | Wayans Brothers Hold Sway | |
| Latinos Locos | 7.5 | Good Latino Standup Comedy | |
| Miracle | 7.5 | Great Hockey Movie | Gets - .5 for excessive jingoism |
| My Life Without Me | 7.5 | The Ultimate Female Fantasy | Gets + .5 for great female lead, Sarah Polley |
| Penn & Teller BS S2V1 | 7.5 | Irreverant Balloon Puncturing | Strong language |
| Penn & Teller BS S2V3 | 7.5 | Debunk Ahoy! | |
| Princess Mononoke | 7.5 | Best anime since Akira | Gets - .5 for hitting a rut after 1 hour |
| Rundown | 7.5 | Good Karate Flick | Gets - .5 for excessive violence |
| Quest for Fire | 7.5 | Cool Sabertooth, Wooly, Missionary | Gets + .5 for exceptionally cool woolly mammoth |
| Stuck On You | 7.5 | Nice Cinderella Story | |
| Touching the Void | 7.5 | Hard to Watch | |
| Cookout | 7.0 | Silly, But S'Got Heat | |
| League of Extraordinary Gentlemen | 7.0 | Movie Falls Apart | When Venice falls apart, so does the movie. |
| Man On Fire | 7.0 | Torture's Disturbing, Denzel's Great | |
| Mouse That Roared | 7.0 | Harmless Fluff. Little Light | |
| Nine Dead Gay Guys | 7.0 | Fun And Fluffy | |
| Passion of the Christ | 7.0 | All Torture No Philosophy | |
| Scary Movie 3 | 7.0 | Starts Strong Then Fades | |
| Taking Lives | 7.0 | Lame Twist. Story Weak | Gets + .5 for Angelina Jolie cast as goth cop |
| Texas Chainsaw 2003 | 7.0 | A Couple Good Scares | Original's Better |
| Control | 6.5 | Movie OK. Liotta Great | Gets + .5 for Ray Liotta |
| Forgotten | 6.5 | Moore's Great, Movie's So-so | |
| Prey For Rock & Roll | 6.5 | Tatoo Rapist Interesting | Only liked two songs |
| Ron White Standup | 6.5 | Tater Salad Story Great | |
| Soul Survivors | 6.5 | Doesn't Make Any Sense | |
| Anacondas | 6.0 | Great Snakes, Weak Story | |
| Belly of the Beast | 6.0 | Segal Fun To Watch | Like Stallone, even in his stupidest movies, Segal is fun to watch |
| Blue Collar Rides Again | 6.0 | Original Film Much Better |
|
| Bridget Jones 2 - Edge of Reason | 6.0 | Good Until Thai Jail | Rating dropped from an 8.0 to a 6.0 after the Thai jail scene |
| Ella Enchanted | 6.0 | Nice Modern / Ancient Mix | Kind of bland |
| Paycheck | 6.0 | Central Premise Good | Bad Good Movie |
| Secret Window | 6.0 | Good Twist Ending | |
| Starsky & Hutch (2004) | 6.0 | Tad Boring. Wilson/Stiller Good. | |
| Punisher (2005) | 5.5 | Extremely Violent. Kinda Stupid | Gets + .5 for Russian Fight |
| Village (2004) | 5.5 | First Hour Was Great | |
| Chopper Chicks In Zombie Town | 5.0 | Dykes Bike Too! | |
| Mean Girls | 5.0 | Heathers Was Better | |
| Saw (2004) | 5.0 | Nice Twist, But Mediocre | |
| Soul Plane | 5.0 | It's OK, Not Great | |
| 50 First Dates | 4.5 | Bad Premise And Soundtrack | |
| Delovely | 4.5 | Lead Male Can't Sing | Gets + .5 for Kiss Me Kate Scene |
| Cellular | 4.0 | LACops Not That Incompetent | |
| Decoys | 4.0 | Alien Ice Queens. Weak. | |
| Dickie Roberts | 4.0 | Weak Child Star Cash-In | |
| Exorcist, The Beginning | 4.0 | Bad Movie But Entertaining | Qualifies for "Good/Bad Movie Review" |
| White Girls | 4.0 | Wrong Wayans Brothers Cast | |
| Without A Paddle | 4.0 | Good Natured, Stupid Comedy | Qualifies for "Good/Bad Movie Review" |
| Wild Things 2 | 3.5 | Not Enough Sex | |
| Bad Boys 2 | 3.0 | Best "3.0" Rating Given | Any movie where the plot is an oversight cannot score more than 3.0 |
| Boa vs Python | 3.0 | We Want More Snakes! | Better than Alien vs Predator |
| Bulletproof Monk | 3.0 | Pretty Stupid | |
| Chronicles of Riddick | 3.0 | Race To Spaceship Good | |
| Species 3 | 3.0 | Ties Bad Boys2 | |
| Alien vs Predator | 2.5 | Cool Idea. Poor Execution | Gets + .5 for Italian translation of "Luna Cattiatory" = "Hunter's Moon" |
| Catwoman | 2.5 | Worse Than BBoys 2 | |
| Van Helsing | 2.0 | Good Fangs Bad Movie | Worse than Catwoman :P... |
| Freddie Got Fingered | 1.5 | Ended Tom Green's Career | Gets + .5 for skateboarding tricks |