Act One, Scene One: "Guess The Kisser" Party

Scene 1: “Guess the Kisser Party”. Band party at Diana's parent's house in the living room. Group plays ‘guess the kisser'. Through mistaken identity, Diana makes out with Sid, guessing he is her boyfriend Chad . Chad mistakes Buffy for Diana.

Before Song: “Give Me A Girl Like You”

Scene takes place in the living room of Diana's parent's house. The living room has two closets. Closet # 1 is stage right. Closet # 2 is stage left (coat closet next to front door). The front door is far stage left. The living room is neat and pretty, fifties looking, with a woman's touch, like the living room in the sitcom Happy Days. Pizza boxes and soda cans are scattered around the place for the party. Fifties style swing music plays in the background.

Diana and Chad are the perfect preppie couple. Chad wears jeans and a letterman jacket. Diana is dressed like a fifties bobbie soxer, pony tail, pink pastel print dress, bobby sox (similar to Sandy in Grease). Maya is dressed like the female version of Elvis. She has the duck's ass haircut, a red satin man's dress shirt, blue suede shoes and black slacks, like early fifties Elvis. Sid is sporting a casual prototypical punk look with jet black, straight hair, black converse all stars, jeans, studded silver belt and a black tshirt that reads “Little Impact” the name of the punk band he, Maya and Aztec started.

Chad , Diana's handsome quarterback boyfriend has his arm around Diana as they sit on the couch, stage center. Sid and Maya hang out together on the outskirts of the group, looking a little bit out of place. There are maybe 8-10 band kids at the party, total.

Mojo: This is the best band party ever!  

Jam: Really?  

Mojo: Well… This is the best band party since last Tuesday!  

Group: (Laughter)  

Dan: Mojo, you're a scream. So what game are we going to play next?  

Tyco: Let's play “Spin the Bottle”  

Dan: No way, we played that last party!  

Tyco: Well, how about “20 Seconds in Heaven”?  

Dan: (Makes negative buzzing noise) Ehh, we played that last party too!  

Jam: Why don't we play “Kiss Guesser”?  

Buffy: (Kiss rating girl) Now you're talking, sister!  

Tyco: Whoa. “Kiss Guesser”. Sounds cool, how does it work?  

Jam: Well, first you get a couple who's dating…  

Buffy: Hey, slow down professor. Let me give the rules, it is my game!  

Tyco: Fine, fine. Now how's it played?  

Buffy: Well, first you get a couple who's dating… like Diana and Chad .  

Group: (Whooping laughter. Diana buries her blushing face in Chad 's shoulder)  

Tyco: We have our couple. And then?  

Buffy: Then you get another couple that's not dating.  

Tyco: I volunteer Sid!  

Group: (More laughter. Applause. Banter: “He'll never do it”)  

Sid: No problem. (To Buffy) And who's my single partner?  

Buffy: In the name of science, I volunteer!  

Group: (Group laughs and cheers)  

Tyco: Ok, what now?

Chad : Yeah, I want to hear the rules before I agree to participate!  

Buffy: Well, first you take the four players, you blindfold them and tie their hands behind their back, gently.  

Chad : Kinky, I like it! (Diana playfully socks his arm)  

Buffy: The game requires two closets. Closet 1 will be the left closet (she points stage right) and Closet 2 will be the right closet (she points stage left).  

Chad : Gotcha.  

Buffy: We need a referee.  

Sid: How about Maya?  

Maya: (in an Elvis voice) Only if I get to flip a coin. (Maya shakes her leg, Elvis style).  

Buffy: You read my mind. If the referee flips heads, the dating couple goes into closet 1 and the non dating couple goes into closet 2. HOWEVER, if the referee flips tails, one dater and one single goes into closet 1 and the other dater and the other single goes into closet 2.  

Chad : Good so far!  

Buffy: The couples spend 60 seconds in the closet kissing. No using hands. No making noise, talking or otherwise! When time's up, the referee will knock on closet 1 and bring out one of the players. The player will tell the group who they think they were kissing.  

Tyco: So your odds are 50-50.  

Buffy: If you're an amateur (disdainful). Then the referee knocks on closet 2 and does the same thing.  

Sid: Any penalties for guessing wrong?  

Buffy: Nope, this game is just for fun. The couples have to guess who they are kissing as they come out of the closet.

Maya: (dazed voice, like Zonker) And into the warm light of day!  

Buffy: Uh, yeah. So are you two game? (To Diana and Chad )  

Diana: Absolutely! I could guess your kiss through saran wrap, baby!  

Chad : I don't know…  

Tyco: Look, he wants to keep a monopoly on making out with Diana!  

Diana: Come on Chad , are you chicken?  

Chad : Chicken? Me? No way. Break out the blindfolds!  

Buffy: Sid?  

Sid: Yep, I'm in.  

Group: (Applause and laughter)  

Buffy: Ok you daredevils, let's get these players bound and blindfolded.  

The four non-players blindfold the four players.  

Maya: Ok, lovers! No talking and no noises whatsoever! We're going to be listening at the door to
make sure everyone plays fair. Now let me get a coin.  

Maya winks at the group, reaches into his pocket and pulls out nothing. She holds up his thumb and forefinger to the group, like he's holding a coin. Members of the group put their hands over their mouths to stifle their laughter.  

Maya: And here's the flip!  

Maya fakes a flip, pretends to catch the coin and look at it, then points to her rear end, winks at the group, then puts her finger to her lips in a “Shh!” sign.   Maya takes Chad by the arm  

Maya: Come with me.  

Maya leads Chad to closet 1   Maya takes Diana by the arm  

Maya: Right this way  

Maya leads Diana to closet 2   Maya takes Buffy by the arm

Maya: Come with me.  

Maya leads Buffy to closet 1   Maya takes Sid by the arm  

Maya: Come with me  

Maya leads Sid to closet 2. Tyco looks at his watch  

Maya: Players, you have 60 seconds to guess the kisser. Ready, set, make-out!   Maya and Tyco close both closets with a wham.  

Song 1: Group sings “Give Me A Girl Like You” (400k) to mark time as the kissers play ‘Guess the Kisser'. Lyrics to "Give Me A Girl Like You".

Every time the group finishes a verse, the music stops completely and the singers/dancers freeze and look at Maya. Maya looks at her watch, shakes her head that time isn't up yet and the singers do the next verse.  

Scene 1a: Buffy guesses right. Chad guesses wrong. Diana guesses wrong. Chad and Diana leave the party confused and hurt. Sid leaves the party in euphoria.  

Maya: Ten seconds left.  

Group: Ten, nine, eight, seven, six, five, four, three, two, one, blastoff!  

Maya knocks on closet 1, opens the closet, brings out Buffy and closes closet 1.  

Maya: Guess the kisser!  

Buffy: My partner was Chad and he has 37 cents in his front left pocket.  

Group: (Whooping laughter and applause)  

Maya: Ladies and gentlemen, the winner and still the world champion, Buffy!  

Group: (Applauds and whoops in delight)   Tyco takes the blindfold and bind off Buffy.   Maya knocks on closet 2, tries the door and finds it is locked.  

Maya: Hm… Door's locked. Maybe they need a little more time to decide.  

Group starts giggling with hands over mouths.   Maya knocks on closet 1, opens the closet, brings out Chad and closes closet 1.  

Chad : Our twenty seconds were divine with Diana's lips attached to mine!  

All the kids whoop in laughter. Buffy looks mad. Chad takes off his blindfold.  

Chad : Buffy! Whoops. My bad. (Looks around). Hey, where's Diana?  

All the kids laugh and point to closet 2. Maya intervenes.  

Maya: I'll get it.  

Maya tries the door. It won't open.  

Maya (shrugs): Still locked. No worries.  

Maya pulls a credit card out of her pocket, shows it to the group, knocks on closet 2, jimmies the door with the credit card, swings the door wide open to reveal Sid and Diana furiously making out (staging note: if the high school couple is shy about kissing, Sid can have his back to the door and Diana can have her arms and maybe a leg wrapped passionately around him)   The group breaks up laughing in hysterics. Chad waits a second in shock before he pulls them both out of the closet.  

Chad : Game's over.  

Sid keeps his blindfold on with a big smile on his face. Diana tears off her blindfold and looks at Chad , flushed and upset.  

Diana to Chad : You mean that wasn't you?  

Buffy starts walking out the door  

Buffy: I guess this party's over. (Buffy to Chad ) Not bad, lover.  

Buffy takes Sid's arm and walks him out still blindfolded and bound with a big smile on his face.  

Buffy: Come on Siddy, beddy bye time.  

Sid: I think I'm beginning to see the light!  

All the kids leave the party thanking Diana for a good time. Chad and Diana are left behind, looking at each other flushed, shocked, betrayed and a bit angry.   Lights fall.

End of Act One, Scene One